Retrospect+Számvetés: 2016

Egy hónap telt el majdnem mióta nem írtam, történt ez azért (is), mert érlelődött bennem sok minden és megannyi téma amit a jövőben (majd) közzé akarok (akartam?) tenni. Mert hogy erősen gondolkodom azon, hogy befejezem ezt a blogot, amit annyira szerettem írni és úgy a szívemhez nőtt.
A blog története dióhéjban annyi, hogy annak idején, frissen érettségizett fejjel azért hoztam létre, hogy az otthon maradt barátaim tudják olvasni mi történt velem, és ne kelljen mindig mindent mindenkinek leírnom.
Ahogy visszanézem most ezeket a bejegyzéseket, erősen elgondolkodok néha, hogy mi járhatott akkor a fejemben néha: nagyon kis fiatal voltam, és minden rácsodálkozásom a dánokra viccesnek és naivnak hat innen, 4 és fél év utánról. A mostani témáknak egyenesen az ellentéte: legutóbb közéletibb volt a hangvétel, anno pedig többnyire saját kalandjaimat osztottam meg. Egyik legkedvesebb barátom azt mondta, hogy szereti a blogom, de kicsit sótlan. Akkor mérges voltam rá ezért a kijelentésért, most viszont abszolút látom, mire gondolt.
Egyébként érdekes, hogy a legtöbb dolog, ami tényleg a sava borsát adja az itteni életnek, nem írtam le soha a blogomban. Próbáltam mindig pozitív lenni és nem leírni a szenvedéseket, a küzdelmeket az igazi külföldi élettel; a visszautasításokat, a nehéz nyelvtanulást, az iskolákat, ahol nem szerettem tanulni és még sorolhatnám. És meg volt az oka, hogy nem itt öntöttem ki a lelkem: úgy gondolom, sokkal fontosabb a szebb oldalt mutatni és arra tenni a hangsúlyt, ami sikerült, ami boldogságot okozott, ami nem fájt és jó volt.

2016, a visszatérés. Nem gondoltam volna, hogy Aarhus ennyire közel fog állni a szívemhez és valóban visszatérek még ebben az évben. Az, hogy ez megtörtént valami fajta gondviselés, szerencse és sok egyéb minden irgalmas keveréke, azt hiszem. Hogy ezt a várost a második otthonomnak tekinthetem és tekintem. Mert jó és ide illek a legjobban.
Tehát kétezer-tizenhat. Egy meleg napon tértem vissza ide, emlékszem, Billundban párás volt az idő és tengerszag. Amikor leszálltam a gépről halvány mosoly, tudni véltem, hogy nem sok minden változott itt. Pont ezért tetszett itt minden annyira.
Az év eleje nem volt könnyű. Szállást találni és végül ugyanabba a kollégiumba visszamenni ahol annak idején kezdtem olyan volt, mint aki újrakezdheti az életét. Tiszta lappal, egyenesen, újra külföld. A barátaim száma hanyagul megcsappant, és bevallom, nem is vágytam jobban emberi társaságra itt, aztán az is, mint minden, kialakult. Ahogy mentünk bele az évbe, nem volt egyszerű az iskola sem. Tök szar a rendszer, amiről tudjuk, hogy "hiába lázadozol Kata, tudjuk hogy ez az iskola szar, mégis el kell végezni." és "Minden egyetem pofára osztályoz, és nem szeretik akinek nagy az arca." Szóval, és mivel meg is buktam most félévkor, elhatároztam, hogy összeszedem magam és kevesebb lesz a halogatás. De tényleg....
Most a tél pedig? Komótosan és lassan haladgat, szerencsére kevés hideggel számolva. Azóta kultúrális főváros is lett Aarhus, a vízre több száz (vagy ezer?) hajócskát eresztettek és énekeltek a DOKK1 könyvtárnál. Természetesen lemaradtam róla, de nem bánom annyira, a tűzijáték végét elkaptam azért.

2017. Új év, új szokások, vagy minden mehet a régi kerékvágásban? Én változtatok, mert a kerék vágásában megrekedt a szekerem kicsit. Szerencsére segítségemre volt egy régi barátom, aki lovagként segít most már nekem abban, hogy ezt a szekeret együtt tudjuk a mi kis kerékvágásunkban hajtani. De tényleg kell a visszatekintés, a seggenbillentés; hogy mit tudnék jobban csinálni és fogom is.

                                                                    +++++++++++++             

Aand here comes in English as well (just to make sure I can write in English still).
I basically looked back to the happenings and coming back to Aarhus. It was not easy and not so hard either, but definitely opened a new chapter for me. So did 2017; I had four resolutions for myself in before the new year and I will definitely do my best to achieve them.
First of all:

1, Procrastinate less often! (You see? So true! I can be a professional procrastinator if there will be a job for that)

2, Try a completely new skill! (I am so into trying new things out, and I have something crafty in mind already. Or something related to numbers...Like business economics? :))

3, Spend more quality time with your family! (Now, my family is living 1500-1500km apart, therefore we have to plan everything in advance to arrange the gatherings. Even though it is tough, we always spend cozy quality time together. But as the resolution says, it will be more!)

4, Volunteer somewhere with a friend! (I would definitely like to volunteer. Maybe in a second hand shop. Maybe feeding the dolphins. Anything.)

5, last but not least: Spend less time on the Internet! My bae (oh, yeah) says, it is kinda bullshit: I do NOT HAVE TO spend less time on the internet but make sure I am on the useful websites. Well, I have already deleted my 2 Instagram profiles and it totally worth it! I spent browsing and surfing just for fun instead of reading articles of bonding chemicals in the brain of an amoeba.:))

I am not sure I will continue this blog unfortunately. It is because of several reasons, but mostly because inspiration and muse left me behind in a while ago. When will I return? I will let you know.

Don't forget: Kate is Coming ;)

És ne felejtsétek: Kate is Coming! :)

Wifi free Weichnachten

I am back!!! And finally have internet because I did not have it for more than 9 days. Don't get me wrong, I felt amazing without this facility support, but I did not have the chance to wish

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

GLÆDELIG JUL OG GODT NYTÅR!

to any of you. So I do wish it now! :)

I have spent my precious Christmas in Germany at my Mom's place. It was very nice as always and since she moved to a new place I had a chance to take photos of that neighborhood. But, in a nutshell: Germany is a bit boring at Christmas. Of course, they had all the shiny, glittery, mulled-wine-y stuff, but not as close hyggeness as here. I guess now one point goes to the conto of Denmark.

In the contrary, with the pictures I have taken I tried to focus on what IS nice, extraordinary, or even cozy in the Stuttgart area. Here, what I have found the most beautiful were the chimneys at work. It gives such a nice feeling just looking at the smoke coming out in the sunrise or sunset at wintertime. 

Like this:

Aren't they beautiful? 

Besides, we also explored one of the biggest Christmas tree markets. You can all imagine the scent of pine trees, yummi yummi: strong and fresh, just cut trees!

Even though I am pro no-trees-cut, Christmas is one exception. I like this tradition, and living trees look way better than the plastic ones. In my opinion.

Oh, now I see that I took a lot of pictures! Maybe Germany is not that boring after all? I have tried to examine the street art too (just at my last visit) and found the gems now too. But, I have so much to share, so, I will just put on, and you can browse! :)

Back to the title and the conclusion of the 9 days without internet. Well, some of you might say: That is a looooooooong time, and others might look at me not knowing what I am talking about. But this is a real thing and it was a detox to me as well, although it was not on purpose. I am happy though it happened, because I could see myself how much I can bear without using social media for example, or just surfing without limits, or if I am bored what are the possibilities in an empty house.

1, Now, you can always draw. Even if you suck at it. Just doodle!

2, Are you hungry? It is time to prepare a meal you have never tried before! Especially if it needs time to prepare!

3, Play games! I am not talking about drinking games here(well, could be), but card and board games are always handy! 

4, Give up and go for a walk :)

See you next year?

Concrete! Beton!

I was waiting the moment to capture the process of these concrete block's insert into the pavement and here we go! As Aarhus is going to be the Cultural Capital of Europe next year, the commune is really working on the advertisement. I have to admit, I really like these blocks, they are so cool!

Már alig vártam hogy láthassam, ahogyan lerakják a járdákba illeszve ezeket a betonkockákat az Aarhus 2017 felirattal, ugyanis jövőre bizony Aarhus Európa Kulturális Fővárosa lesz. Én imádom ezeket a járdalapokat, szerintem királyul néznek ki! Legközelebb hozok egyet haza ;)

Danish women

I guess in advance that this topic will receive both a lots of pros and cons but I am willing to face any arguments here. I do it with a pleasure indeed, just like Danish women are ready to face arguments  in their everyday lives too.
Okay, so, I for a long time now have been observing and finding the answer for that question/topic which is:

What makes Danish women so attractive?

I intentionally did not use the term beautiful because I think their secret of "beauty" is more within their attractiveness or appealing. Saying that, I found out what really makes them unique or attractive is that they are SELF CONFIDENT TO THE EXTREMES!!! Meaning of: Danish women do not give a shit about everyone else's opinion about their femininity or women-likeness. They are confident in their bodies, even though they do not fit into the so called "shape trends" aka the Western world dictated fashion in sizes. They are really fashion forward though, but they do not accept anyone tearing them down saying they are "not enough", "not feminine enough" not "cool enough", etc. 

It comes from the childhood and the way they were brought up; Danish environment in general is very self centered (not narcissistic!) and based on equality also when it comes to sexes and genders. Yet, for me, when I first came here, a not so self confident girl from a not self confident at all country (yes, Hungary is beyond low at embracing femininity) I have found it really attractive how Danish women behave and their laid back, cool, positive attitude really got me. 

I know, for most of the men it is "straight blond hair, blue eyes, sleek body, always work out, nice make up, etc. , but from an other perspective, I think it is coming from the inside. 

Moreover, I know really ugly looking Danes. Women who do not have an outside beauty in any way. Of course,  I know, I "should not" say that because "every woman is beautiful in a way" bah blah blah blah, BUT I do not believe in that. 

What I do believe in,in fact, is what comes from inside and what factors makes a woman a good woman.

Here I am not going to talk about the power of make up and a new cream which is going to give your youth back when you are gross, old, chubby, etc. What I am going to talk about here is kindness. Empathetic. Real. Motivated. Has morals and acts as she says. Listens. 

Danish women, au contraire, or as far as I got to know them do not have all these "women like" features I listed about. Or do they? Of course, I also aware that I should not generalize but in a way, Danish families are quite the same since the basic social system. ( I tried not using the word socialists). 

So, back to track: how on Earth is it possible for instance that this woman is so beautiful?

This is Mø. A very popular Danish singer. She is a woman.

Yes, her voice, but beyond that. What makes her beautiful? Her attitude? Her way of treating people? Her style? The message she is representing? 

Mø is real to me. I do not say she is beautiful because beauty based on pillars of aesthetics but now contrary again: is it only an opinion? 

Maybe I should not use a common media figure as an example. Media cheats. Bad media. 

BUT.

What I am trying to figure out and start a conversation about is: how can be someone be beautiful without being beautiful? To me, it is really interesting. I know many women and when I say I know them I mean I know them from head to toe and inside and out. Danish, and internationals. Many of them are not meeting the aesthetic standards. But they are beautiful, real and women to me because they ACT like a woman, they THINK like a woman and SLEEP like a woman.

I believe in genders and I also believe in equality. How is it possible in a world when we are going towards the androgynous human preface? (Here, if someone does not know what androgynous means: having both feminine and masculine features). 

In Denmark it is possible to be a woman(in western society) without treated as a woman (in eastern society). 

And this is cool. 

I like the way I am treated here as more of a person but having believed and stored my own feminine features.

And this is amazing.

Thank you Denmark.

NB: All of us should learn from Danish women! They also have a lot to learn from us, but self confidence is what they truly embrace. 

Amen.

Dear Santa,

Yesterday was the official "Mikulás day" in Hungary; the day, 6th of December, when Father Christmas came to the children and put goodies into their (nicely polished!!!) boots. 

I remember how excited I was every single 6th of December's morning: just rushing into the window where I had my boots and it was filled with Smarties'Santa (my favorite), oranges and lots of peanuts. Those were the worthy times and sometimes I wish to have them back. 

In this year, the Santa did not find him in Denmark! Well, I have not cleaned my shoes or put them into the window either: maybe this was the reason behind? At least, I have not been that naughty this year in order not getting anything, right?

Today, with one of my friends decided to make the tables turn: if Satan Santa is not "coming to town", WE ARE going to find him instead with all of our wishes!

You got it write: we wrote two letters including what we wish for this Christmas with my sweet friend Rasmine while eating Brunkager. (Having all the gingerbread was Rasmine's next year's wish, so...) :) 

Here is my letter in Danish. (Because practice, practice, practice!!!)

'Dear Santa,

If you can listen, I would like to have a very nice Christmas eve with my family in Germany and also a Christmas tree with decoration on it. As well, I have to write an exam in January, so can you tell Morten, one of my teachers to give me a grade 10 or 12? Dear Santa, I was good I think and wish all the things I wrote you all above.

Best regards, 

Kate'

Rasmine wrote about 'Worldpeace' and food for everyone. I think she wrote it better, but she also wants to eat the World's ginger bread stock, so what will remain for the hungry? :)

It was so much fun writing to Santa this year (just after handing  one of our exams in) and think about all the merry times I had when I was a child...

Happy Julemand!

Baby plants - Növénykék

Since arrival, I am a mother of now 7 plants whom I really proud of. Some of them were saved from the dumpster, some I have bought here and the other I planted myself. They all live in my window in peace; each time I look at them I feel proud and they fill my heart with calmness.
Why is it good having at least one plant in a room? What are the benefits of having something green in an apartment? Well, the answer is because plants will totally pay off the care! Besides... They are amazing! They grow in front of your eyes, they have nice smell (some of them do) and they are grateful if you water them and put them in the light. They not only absorb the sunlight, but reflect on your personality; how caring you are and they reward you with their beautiness.
As I said, each of them has their own story. For example, two of my basil were found in the dumpster, half dead and screaming for help. It needed time to heal them, but they are safe and sound now, blooming and "greening". My very first plant, indeed, is from IKEA; a mainstream and cheap draecena that actually grew a lot! Also, he is in my favorite sparkly pot I bought in the nearest second hand store. The succulent? Yes, one of my favorites from a festival in Mejlegade: when I bought her she was a tiny succulent resting in a small pot, now it is a lovely female who has two children next to her in an other plantation! How beautiful is that? :)
I have a confession though.
When I was younger, I did not really care about my own plants at home. It was always my mother who watered them and took back to the house when the temperature was low, but next to me they would die. This spring, however, when I was home in Hungary and was just planning to come to Denmark, I paid more attention to the nature and to plants. They really changed my point of view about nature and nurture - two expressions around us, evolving and supplementing.
I realized of the process of watering and taking a look each time at my plants that life is really within us! Life can be improved! You, with a small attention, can make life and give the opportunity to the nature to grow and grow...It really helped me when I was pessimistic for instance: I can see growth in others, therefore I could improve growth in myself.
Ladies and gentlemen living in Denmark (or all around the World)! I highly encourage you to get a plant and nurture it! It can be a small flower, a herb, a succulent, a cactus or anything, really!
Sharing is caring - caring is life saving!

Krysse

Draecena

Aloe

Basil

Succulent

Baby succuli

Érkezésem óta 7 növény boldog anyukája vagyok. Némelyikük a kukából lett kimentve, valakit én ültettem, és olyan is van, akit természetesen vettem. Mindegyiküket imádom és az ablakomban növekednek napról napra. Szeretem nézni a folyamatot ahogyan mindük változik vagy éppen a Nap felé hajladozva táplálkozik. Története is van az összesnek: a dracéna az IKEÁból lett véve (ez az első növényem itt Aarhusban), a bazsalikomok követték, akiket már kókadozva vettem ki a kukából. A szukkulens az egyik nagy becsben tartott kedvencem: kicsi szemérmes korában vettem egy növénykiállításon, egy fesztiválon szeptemberben. Átültettem, és azóta már két kisfiúval is büszkélkedhet, akiből az egyik már gyökeret is eresztett! Wohoo! Az aloe egy legutóbbi vásárlás eredménye; ő még most illeszkedik be a miliőbe és barátkozik. :)

Be kell vallanom, nem voltam mindig ilyen nagy növénybarát. Otthon, még Magyarországon édesanyám gondozta a növényeimet, felőlem nem nagyon maradt volna életben egy sem. (Ahogyan sokáig nem is maradt). De szerencsésen kinőve a sötét középkort (értsd: kamaszkort) ráeszméltem a növények fontosságára és arra, mennyire kifizetődik a velük való törődés. Tulajdonképpen egy egész személyiségrajzot kapunk az emberről ahogyan a növényivel törődik. Erre ez a tavasz világított rá, akkor még otthon vigyázgattam a növényeimre, és tudva hogy idejövök Dániába, mindenképpen tudatosan gondoltam arra, hogy itt is folytatom ezt a folyamatot. Ez igazán büszkeséggel, reménnyel és boldogsággal tölt el még a nehezebb napokon is, ha ránézek a növényeimre és látom fejlődésüket ÉS azt hogy ezt nekem köszönhetik: az én törődésem eredménye. Azt hiszem, ez egy új lépés a felnőttéválás felé. Tehát mindenképpen buzdítok mindenkit arra, hogy szerezzen be legalább egy növényt a szobájába vagy lakásába és szeretgesse, táplálgassa. Ez fontos. Jót tesz; jót teszel!

Motivation, self-esteem, school and changes - The true cost of living in Denmark

This article, I can promise, will be no lack of honesty. Indeed, in this diary section I will talk about those things in the title with many more included explicitly written with the harsh truth. Or even the ugly truth.

First, I have to mention that this expose was highly inspired by one of my fellow classmates. I will not intend to mention his name, but his story among many other stories I discovered in this very ugly weathered Denmark recently. 

Motivation, you name it. A greatly overused but often underestimated and misunderstood word that catches our eye every time on media sites. We know, we have to be motivated in order to achieve success; to achieve our goals (what?) ourselves (what?) and keep us going on the "great path of LIFE". (WHAAAAAAT???)

In the word, motivation, there is movement, motives (moving figures) showing a process along a way. But really, what is our way? Any ideas?

This guy, who I had the conversation with told me that he is lack of motivation and he does not know what he really wants do to in his life. He, when telling the story, just as many others, seemed very clueless and even apathetic. 

I remember, when I moved to Denmark 4 years ago and started my life, my school, my blog, I had solid thoughts what I really want to do, who I want to be and what I want to achieve. Of course, shortly after, everything blew off - when I realized I was unsatisfied with the school I chose, I was helplessly asking myself the following questions: 

"Who am I? What am I doing here? Why do I do that? Why am I not motivated enough? Is it really what I want to do?"

Back then, with all my honesty here, I was totally demotivated for a while. As the feeling emerged, I felt like these questions and all the things I was sure about with all my mature self (yeah, 19 years old is fucking mature, self high five, Kate...) made NO sense, and I had to find out what to do next to survive and to find the motivation that kept me going. Indeed, I had very bad days, I cried overnights, I felt alone (even though I was not alone with my problems) but mostly: I did not know how to solve my problem. Because, and this is an important part here: being demotivated is NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. It is only a problem that has to be solved. 

I know, it is not easy living in Denmark, trust me my dear readers. I have been, as I wrote about them lots of times, in really difficult situations in this very country. (Remember : at that time, there was no SU for international students, so I had to work hard for the money I could drink off). 

Coming to that, to the finding of the GREAT BALANCE (ie: mission impossible) between school, social life, Danish integration, changes, classmates, customs, different food, finding job, accommodation, job, cheap stuff, homework, blahblah really tires us and sometimes we find ourselves like Frodo in the spiderweb in the LOTR3. Yeah, I think it greatly represents all my feelings when I feel lack of motivation and even depression. But you know what? Frodo survived, AND was able to finish his mission after all. Was it easy? Not at all. Was he lonely? Well...

This is the other thing makes us suffer and poison our souls here in the great Danish flatness. This is the topic no -one talks about, but sweep under the carpet when it comes to talk about how many internationals choose this and that study programs and why we love being here. 

The truth is? Bullshitty - a bit.

The harsh truth is, we often feel inevitably and deeply LONELY. This is why most of us "choose" or use as a survival tool smoking weed, taking drugs, being workaholics, overeating, alcoholism, sex addiction, the list goes on. These things, unfortunately, strongly connected to the true cost of living in Denmark as a foreigner student. Therefore, feeling alone makes us find other sources to find ourselves (our motivation?) but people always forget one very important thing in this story: 

WE ARE NOT ALONE!

We are not lonely! We can be alone - meaning of the individual and chosen form without human surrounding, but think about it: are we alone with our problems? Of course not! 

I can say that I have lived in a quite few places here in Denmark, knowing quite a few people and understood their behavior when they have felt lonely. The thing is: self-degradation and self pity is not helping! 

Do you know, my people, how many of you have the same story? Do you know, that your neighbor, your colleague at school you write your project with ,is under the same shit as you are? You are, my dearests, are not fucking alone!!! Great opportunity is, therefore, sharing and understanding each other stories can make our lives much easier. We are not alone, because most of us face the following obstacles every single day: homesickness, lack of money, lack of time, lack of job, sucking at shitty job, lack of sleep, missing friends, missing home country and so forth. 

If we understood and acknowledged the problem we can change our situation for the better: talking to each other and help each other in difficult times.

LISTEN, LOVE, BEING EMPATHETIC, FORGIVE, AND DO NOT JUDGE!

So, summarizing my, sometimes hard to follow speech about this whole Danish clutter: even if you feel demotivated and lonely, there are good times are coming. Never forget: this is not a bad life you are living, it is only a problem that has to be solved. You are never alone! Ask for help if you are in need, do not close your doors from people who are here to help you. 

If, after all you still feel terrible after this or any day, remember: 

Brunkager (danish gingerbread) is only 11kr in Netto. 

It is sweet. Saves the day. ;)

Bye, vi ses!