Motivation, self-esteem, school and changes - The true cost of living in Denmark

This article, I can promise, will be no lack of honesty. Indeed, in this diary section I will talk about those things in the title with many more included explicitly written with the harsh truth. Or even the ugly truth.

First, I have to mention that this expose was highly inspired by one of my fellow classmates. I will not intend to mention his name, but his story among many other stories I discovered in this very ugly weathered Denmark recently. 

Motivation, you name it. A greatly overused but often underestimated and misunderstood word that catches our eye every time on media sites. We know, we have to be motivated in order to achieve success; to achieve our goals (what?) ourselves (what?) and keep us going on the "great path of LIFE". (WHAAAAAAT???)

In the word, motivation, there is movement, motives (moving figures) showing a process along a way. But really, what is our way? Any ideas?

This guy, who I had the conversation with told me that he is lack of motivation and he does not know what he really wants do to in his life. He, when telling the story, just as many others, seemed very clueless and even apathetic. 

I remember, when I moved to Denmark 4 years ago and started my life, my school, my blog, I had solid thoughts what I really want to do, who I want to be and what I want to achieve. Of course, shortly after, everything blew off - when I realized I was unsatisfied with the school I chose, I was helplessly asking myself the following questions: 

"Who am I? What am I doing here? Why do I do that? Why am I not motivated enough? Is it really what I want to do?"

Back then, with all my honesty here, I was totally demotivated for a while. As the feeling emerged, I felt like these questions and all the things I was sure about with all my mature self (yeah, 19 years old is fucking mature, self high five, Kate...) made NO sense, and I had to find out what to do next to survive and to find the motivation that kept me going. Indeed, I had very bad days, I cried overnights, I felt alone (even though I was not alone with my problems) but mostly: I did not know how to solve my problem. Because, and this is an important part here: being demotivated is NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. It is only a problem that has to be solved. 

I know, it is not easy living in Denmark, trust me my dear readers. I have been, as I wrote about them lots of times, in really difficult situations in this very country. (Remember : at that time, there was no SU for international students, so I had to work hard for the money I could drink off). 

Coming to that, to the finding of the GREAT BALANCE (ie: mission impossible) between school, social life, Danish integration, changes, classmates, customs, different food, finding job, accommodation, job, cheap stuff, homework, blahblah really tires us and sometimes we find ourselves like Frodo in the spiderweb in the LOTR3. Yeah, I think it greatly represents all my feelings when I feel lack of motivation and even depression. But you know what? Frodo survived, AND was able to finish his mission after all. Was it easy? Not at all. Was he lonely? Well...

This is the other thing makes us suffer and poison our souls here in the great Danish flatness. This is the topic no -one talks about, but sweep under the carpet when it comes to talk about how many internationals choose this and that study programs and why we love being here. 

The truth is? Bullshitty - a bit.

The harsh truth is, we often feel inevitably and deeply LONELY. This is why most of us "choose" or use as a survival tool smoking weed, taking drugs, being workaholics, overeating, alcoholism, sex addiction, the list goes on. These things, unfortunately, strongly connected to the true cost of living in Denmark as a foreigner student. Therefore, feeling alone makes us find other sources to find ourselves (our motivation?) but people always forget one very important thing in this story: 

WE ARE NOT ALONE!

We are not lonely! We can be alone - meaning of the individual and chosen form without human surrounding, but think about it: are we alone with our problems? Of course not! 

I can say that I have lived in a quite few places here in Denmark, knowing quite a few people and understood their behavior when they have felt lonely. The thing is: self-degradation and self pity is not helping! 

Do you know, my people, how many of you have the same story? Do you know, that your neighbor, your colleague at school you write your project with ,is under the same shit as you are? You are, my dearests, are not fucking alone!!! Great opportunity is, therefore, sharing and understanding each other stories can make our lives much easier. We are not alone, because most of us face the following obstacles every single day: homesickness, lack of money, lack of time, lack of job, sucking at shitty job, lack of sleep, missing friends, missing home country and so forth. 

If we understood and acknowledged the problem we can change our situation for the better: talking to each other and help each other in difficult times.

LISTEN, LOVE, BEING EMPATHETIC, FORGIVE, AND DO NOT JUDGE!

So, summarizing my, sometimes hard to follow speech about this whole Danish clutter: even if you feel demotivated and lonely, there are good times are coming. Never forget: this is not a bad life you are living, it is only a problem that has to be solved. You are never alone! Ask for help if you are in need, do not close your doors from people who are here to help you. 

If, after all you still feel terrible after this or any day, remember: 

Brunkager (danish gingerbread) is only 11kr in Netto. 

It is sweet. Saves the day. ;)

Bye, vi ses!